I am thankfully off this week from work. The days are for rest, reading, fun, and writing. Last weekend, the family played homemade Jeopardy and Pictionary. The children even made questions to test the parents knowledge of our children. We rocked it of course!
This morning I watched Friends show bloopers and laughed harder than I have laughed in a long while. The laugh that feels like you are doing an ab workout.
I am thankful for time and weather to allow me to run. I have logged 10 miles in two days. I forget how the runs fuel my creative mind. I thought of poem lines, new clubs for school, an ending for my novel, and other essay topics.
I am thankful for my writing. I am to 35,000 words for my NANOWRIMO which is National Novel Writing Month.
I am not just thankful this week. I am thankful every week. This week allows me to be extra thankful for what I have in my life.
I was supposed to be moving to a new house this weekend.
Now I am not.
The circumstances are out of my control, BUT I cannot get past the fact that THIS move was supposed to be smooth. It was supposed to be an easy transition with little strife and stress.
I have moved too many times in the last 4 years. With those moves and life changes comes reflection. I love freewriting and use it as a technique often when I am stuck or just don’t know what I want to write for that day’s writing session.
Two the freewrites I keep coming back to are:
“What do I value in my life?”
“What are the critical attributes of a good life?”
Coupled with those questions are the ideas of what I value in a place to live. The thought that occurred to me is: Why do I keep coming back to this topic of life and home?
I keep writing about living and what I value but why? Do I keep revisiting this topic because I think my answers or beliefs are in a state of flux and the answers will be different than last time? Do I deep down think that my ideas are somehow wrong?
I think the real culprit is I keep hoping there is an attribute I am missing. That there is something on the edge of my understanding that I cannot see yet and will be revealed to me when my mind is racing and the ink is flowing from my pen. There are many things that I do not understand about life. This fact has become abundantly clear especially the last few years.
Now I must find a new place to live. What do I want? The list seems simple enough:
To continue my ponderings on time I have been evaluating more about the people in my life. Even though there are many people I genuinely care about, I don’t usually choose to spend time with them. Sometimes I’m not sure why. There are times I choose to invest the time and the output results are rejuvenation, excitement and a distinct feeling it was time well spent. On the opposite of the spectrum, if I have a couple encounters with a particular group of people where I don’t feel fulfilled then I start to question whether I should spend any time with them at all. The strange notion here, is typically I don’t look at this from an emotional standpoint, I look at this from purely from an input/ output perspective which makes it feel wrong to me in some way. I am an INTJ, which I think contributes to this issue.
Continuing the ponderings about STUFF – The years before I divorced I had self-imposed a massive purge on the belongings in my house. We lived in a house approximately 2700 square feet and had become the dumping ground for other people’s cast-offs. By the time I moved out, the number of belongings was minimal in comparison to what I owned before. Then the circumstances dictated I move three more times within a short period of time which required more purging. Most of the books still remained!
For roughly the last two years I’ve been living in a house with 4 children (shared) on and off and a husband and we have accumulated the things that are necessary to live in a house and to decorate it. When we began the packing process the boxes started adding up at an alarming rate but without much furniture. The house we rented came with some lovely antique furniture that we treasure while we had the change. I was truly surprised at the amount of stuff we have accumulated.
This is simply one of the systemic cycles I navigate through.
It starts again.
I try to be very conscientious of what comes into the house. To be honest, the last 2 years there have been very few disposable income purchases because there has been no money for it.
So the question of the day is: What is worth keeping?
I believe in resale shops, thrift stores, and Goodwill purchases. I also believe in donating all the purge items when I am in that part of the cycle. However, when you find yourself in a temporary dwelling that is not your own, you do not have the need for furniture and certain household items. To purchase all of it again would be silly when we find our next home. So then comes the dilemma – the consideration is made for what you pay for storage as opposed to how much the items you are storing are worth. Monetarily if I purchased it all at the second-hand store it would cost me more to store it then it would compared to what I paid for it. I do not have an emotional attachment to it either. There is the cost of the time and energy to move these items as well.
Furniture was therefore abandoned.
Let the next cycle of purging begin! I do not want to move all these boxes to the next house!
My question to you today is: What is something you may not have paid much money for, but you are willing to shoulder other costs to be able to keep it?