#FMF A Love Letter to #Time

Dear Time,

I meant to write this letter yesterday, but I ran out of you. Our relationship is so complicated. You are a human design constraint, but hard to escape when my body craves the cycles of the moon and the seasons.

Not only are there boundaries of seconds, minutes and hours to lead me like a horse through my day but then there are rules about what you are allowed to do and when.

In the mornings, you are supposed to be on time to wherever you are scheduled to report and there are morning beverages on the approved list. There are things you are not supposed to eat or drink in the evenings either. I don’t tend to follow these rules, but they are there.

There is no changing of the to do list after a certain time in the day. You can skip lunch and scroll through Instagram but don’t leave the building early.

Yesterday, there wasn’t enough of you. I had talks by Cheryl Strayed, Ada Limon, Sabrina Ward Harrison, KK, Tony Robbins, and the Quench collective that felt like there were on all at once. I needed to be able to listen with both ears separately and reflect and write simultaneously.

I wanted to write my daily prompt, this letter, the senses writing program activity but had other obligations that put money in my bank account. I made notes in my journal all day, but it wasn’t the same. The time I wanted was a creative bubble that was only interrupted by coffee refills and walks.

You have played tricks on me all week. The work day went fast and then the evenings went slow but you know that you make me weary and the writing comes slow in the night. My energy seems tied to you and the numbers that represent.

Yesterday was a great day in spite of these issues. My morning boys were fun and formed a writing group suddenly giving feedback and chatting during writing time. Talking cats will bring that out.

Dinner was amazing too.

I still love you.

Love,

Tammy

Dear Fellow Educator #100dayproject

Dear Fellow Educator,

Today is the last day of winter break. I know I will walk into my classroom tomorrow and it will feel like I never left – that there was never a break. It happens every time. It is a bittersweet moment.

I saw an article this week about the DOOR concept as far as it relates to teaching. There is a mass exit from the profession during these pandemic times and it is not because of the children. It is all the other stuff on the outside of the classroom door: the things we cannot control, the rules that we must follow that do not make sense, the endless meetings, the paperwork, etc. There are always pros and cons to every job whether it is in education or not. I am looking forward to seeing my little kindergarten faces tomorrow but I am not looking forward to setting an alarm or being on someone else’s schedule. There are many things that bring me comfort and blogging and connection is on that list.

I first started blogging with the intention to connect with others who were doing the same job as I was. At the time I was a TAP Master Teacher. There weren’t many people that had that same job that I knew at the time. I was desperate for connection. The end result of the blog turned into something so much more. I found my teacher tribes early in Two Writing Teachers and TeachWrite which I am thankful for.

Yesterday I was reintroduced to how great it feels to be connected to other people professionally. I was part of the Teacher on Fire roundtable yesterday and we discussed our #onewordfor2021. It was a lively discussion of sharing stories and dedication. It was also an introduction for me to some dynamic people. I was introduced to Fresh Air at 5, a fellow educator’s TEDTALK, and Teachbetter. It was quite an impressive lineup of people.

I couldn’t help but think that it was a closing of a ring. I was introduced to the one word concept many years ago. I was part of the Indiana Reading Association and eventually became an executive board member. I remember sitting in a conference room at one of the hotels downtown Indianapolis listening to a presentation about it. Then we watched Simon Sinek’s Golden Circle talk. I do not remember what that first word was I chose but have been choosing them ever since.

I love this process so much that in my Patreon the December workshop was about sharing my process for choosing my one word. I love the anchor of one word to guide decisions and keep me aligned with my vision for the year.

Passion, Be, More, Create, Write – they have all been words I have lived for a year at a time. This year is PUSH. I am pushing myself out of my comfort zone and to take massive action. I have big plans for 2021 and I am setting the fear aside.

One of the teachers yesterday said that not only do we have the word for the year but then they compound as we live on. They are always with us. It felt so true in my body when she said it.

The experiences I have as an educator in the classroom and with interesting people also are always with me. What sticks with you?

Happy Sunday. Enjoy the last hours…

Love,

Tammy