What do I value most? Several years ago the actions of my life did not align with what I said my values were. This was also a time I felt I was always waiting.
Waiting for the next thing.
Waiting for the end of the day
Waiting for the weekend.
I appreciate the anticipation which scientifically add to the happiness of an event but this was not the spirit in which these thought patterns were emerging.
Then I saw this quote: “Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
This idea and quote inspired an idea for a short story today. It also reminds me of the idea that if you pray for rain do not be mad when it rains and ruins your outdoor plans. There is always one more thing and I cannot let it consume me.
Yesterday was Black Friday and it is the reflection about what is really wrong with our country. Materialism is such a bold overtone in our society we have holiday to represent it. People will spend money today they do not have on things they think they need all in the name of a sale which is actually a mind trick of advertising and marketing. I try not to get sucked into it. For so long there was no money at all to spend so I am out of the habit of casual shopping. There will be holiday presents purchased of course but they will be somewhat mindful and fun both.
I appreciate and am thankful that I can now go to the grocery store and not have to look at every price to make sure that I have enough in the account my stomach lurching as the total climbs higher. I appreciate the time I have at home with all my kids and my husband.
I truly was in the moment yesterday for Thanksgiving and it felt like a real holiday to me. For the past several years there has been so much turmoil that it did not feel like the holidays. It was more of a dread than a happiness. There were moments of course but yesterday it felt true. The meal was great, the food turned out almost perfect but all delicious. Our corn bake took an extra long time to cook for some reason.
I am not wishing forward or back at this point. I do some planning for scheduling of course but I am not overwhelmed by what needs to happen on a daily basis anymore. I value being home. I value being with the people that I love. I value taking care of myself and my body.